How to let go of grudges
16 March 2022
A reasonable person tries to get to the root cause of why it happened. A wise person looks for reasons within: why did they take offence, what happened within them to trigger such a reaction?
The answer to these questions is very simple: these are hang-ups in one’s head. In other words, when we didn’t get what we wanted, we got offended. This world constantly reminds us that we must learn to free from attachments to what we desire to see. We should at least learn to see what is already there, rather than guess what must be behind it. Why not learn to love what’s already there?
Why we hold grudges
Grudges are caused by our inner discomfort. It happens when you realise that something you’ve been told is true but you tried to conceal it, and when you were confronted, you took offence and got angry — these are demonic qualities. A self-sufficient person doesn’t hold grudges. They realise that this world is an illusion and don’t pay too much attention to it, insofar as this world is God’s game.
We are multi-faceted. Our consciousness is in the real world now, however, we are not aware of it in an ordinary state. When one’s consciousness is very elevated, one holds no grudges against anything or anyone. But here, when we identify ourselves with our physical body and ego, we keep finding various reasons for taking offence and avoiding Unity. The system itself is built that way.
A wisdom seeker tries to be an observer. They try to be just a silent observer of the one who holds grudges, who talks, who acts. They always try to observe detachedly, try to understand what’s going on. One should learn these phenomena, it’s the basics of psychology.
Those who want to take control over their life should learn to understand who they really are.
How to stop holding grudges
One should practise spirituality, rise above everything, stay unattached, and learn to be free. If I’ve realised that I’m neither the body nor the mind — if I’ve understood this concept for myself once and for all — who holds grudges then? If I’m Atman, a self-sufficient, immortal, indivisible being that always exists in him or herself, never needing anything, then there is no issue. But if you forget who you really are and identify yourself with your personality, your body, your name, the society, and get lost in these, you can’t avoid grudges.
There is at least one reason for you to love all people — Atman, or God, is present in every living being. If you realise this and keep it in mind, then everybody will be One presence, One whole. All people will bring you joy even if they do something you don’t like. You will see a deeper meaning in their actions. This is how people, who follow the path of self-development, act.
They cannot be offended, nor killed.
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